Kaizer Chiefs coach Vladimir Vermezovic is the José Mourinho of Mzansi Diski

I'm neither under the influence of my favorite sorghum beer chibuku nor the famous township drugs Nyaope or whoonga. Not even a sip of the famous Mupesu concoction energized me enough to draw an explicit comparison between the world best coaches with the eccentric behaviors. Anyway I have been teetotaler since my young age but I had an addiction of local made cigarette “Tshifulathulo blend" during my herd boy days at the Tshamuregu valley and its adjacent areas of La-Donngi and La-Muramba to Tshipako.

My unequivocal comparison between VV with “the special one” is not based on tactical and technical credentials of the beautiful game. It is a fact that Mourihno is millions miles away from VV in terms of tactical brain but the two coaches share a lot in common. They are always controversial, eccentric and outspoken without minding their words.

They have strong personality, refined dress sense whilst itchy comments at press conference made them a protagonist in the PSL and La Liga league. Bobby Motaung made a public apology regarding this rant “As for those who dream that Bobby Motaung must step down, that Bobby Motaung must go, it is a dream! Bobby Motaung goes nowhere. I’m not elected here. I was not appointed by ANC or IFP… I will be here as long as this company exists.

Bobby Motaung rant was too infant and nothing comparing to VV rant. VV has been too controversial than any other coach in the PSL including former PSLs eccentric coaches like  Paul Dolezar, Victor Bondareko and Hristo Stochkov just to mention a few. I hope Kaizer Chiefs coach Vladimir Vermezovic will not launched a scathing attack to me for this recycled accurate quotes attributed to him.

On Kaizer Chiefs' lack of killer instinct in front of goal against Bloemfontein Celtic

“It is not a problem. I ask my players to play quick, but maybe in this speed they make mistakes. I can't blame anybody because they miss chances. It is soccer and anything is possible. It is not play station… you can't just set it up and start scoring like you do in play station. We will try to be the play station on Sunday”…

On Kaizer Chiefs lack of Supporter when playing at FNB stadium

"Maybe Chiefs supporters in Johannesburg are like small children who like to stay indoors rather than watch games,” oouch this hurt Mr. Coach!

On Jimmy Tau lacking of leadership qualities

“Jimmy Tau broke an unspecified club code and lacked some leadership qualities”… "The club is always bigger than all of us, there is some rules that we have to respect, if someone don't respect the rules of the club, he must pay for that. Tau in one moment, did not respect our rules and because of that, I made a decision to change him”.

Kaizer Chiefs coach Vladimir Vermezovic: I am not Gaddafi

"It's painful to see on the social network people calling you all sorts of names. There are those who compare me to (Muammar) Gaddafi. I'm not Gaddafi. And I hope I don’t end up like him."This club is bigger than all of us and it is my job to criticise and praise my players. There are rules that they have to respect. Maybe [they don't like me] because I am direct and brutal. "Maybe the problem is that some people don't like the way I'm direct and honest when I deal with issues”. Mr. Coach I would only compare you to Gaddafi if you own a gold 9mm short gun. Do you own one?

On Carling Black Label Cup

I don't like this tournament. I am not the coach. How can they vote Tlou Molekwane as left back while he is a right back?  And you know; I will be in the stands just like in rugby. Why should I coach only in the second-half? “I don’t know if I’m PR or coach because I’m definitely not the coach of this game.” Mr. Coach, I presuppose that the Kaizer Chiefs supporters were under the influence when making that decision.

On Siphiwe Tshabala exclusion in the starting eleven of the Carling Black Label Cup

“(Siphiwe) Tshabalala is idolised by the children but, because you have to buy beer to chose the team, they can’t vote for him,” said a disappointed Vermezovic. This is my favourate quote from VV.

In conclusion, do you think "VV" was supposed to be a soccer coach? To me he should have been a stand-up comedian sharing the stage with Trevor Noah's of this world. When he opens his mouth, Mzansi diski lovers are always in stitches. He is indeed an eccentric coach who never runs short of itchy words. Any profound memory about VV explosion?

By Mashudu Owen Mundalamo